The Late Night Comedy Club

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Re: The Late Night Comedy Club

Post by Forrest Gump » Wed Dec 11, 2019 9:33 pm

Bono, a little hard on his luck , resorts to busking
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Re: The Late Night Comedy Club

Post by Sardisbcwx » Thu Dec 12, 2019 1:51 am

Forrest Gump wrote:
Wed Dec 11, 2019 8:39 pm
Ok thanks, I've heard of him but never paid much attention, a bit of an eye opener.
Interesting indeed thanks Sheriff for the info. :thumbup:
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Re: The Late Night Comedy Club

Post by Sardisbcwx » Thu Dec 12, 2019 1:52 am

So after landing my new job as a Walmart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day.

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly,"Good morning and welcome to Walmart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

Of course, her children were at least two years apart, and while they did share similar features, they certainly didn't look like each other.

The woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"

So I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Walmart."

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work. :lol: :clap:
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Re: The Late Night Comedy Club

Post by Glacier » Thu Dec 12, 2019 8:34 am

LOL, the best part is probably the guy with the beard laughing at the jokes...

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=P ... yq0NGhnikZ
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Re: The Late Night Comedy Club

Post by Glacier » Thu Dec 12, 2019 8:39 am

Forrest Gump wrote:
Thu Dec 05, 2019 10:10 pm
Ain't that the truth, except in my case it was a little different. I had relatives who visited from Alberta who said +6 here feels colder than -20 in Edmonton.
I said, pardon. You're joking,right? They said nope, the dampness goes right through your bones. :lol: :shock:
You know, I tried posting all the links showing that there's no such thing as damp cold air, and my relatives got all offended. I even posted the scientific articles, and they got even more offended.

The reason it supposedly feels colder at +6 than -20 is that you're not dressed for +6 in Vancouver. You might not have on proper rain gear or something. If it's -20 in Alberta you dress for -20, and then it warms up to 0 by afternoon, and then you're sweating because of the parka.
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Re: The Late Night Comedy Club

Post by Weather101 » Thu Dec 12, 2019 10:59 am

Glacier wrote:
Thu Dec 12, 2019 8:39 am
You know, I tried posting all the links showing that there's no such thing as damp cold air, and my relatives got all offended. I even posted the scientific articles, and they got even more offended.

The reason it supposedly feels colder at +6 than -20 is that you're not dressed for +6 in Vancouver. You might not have on proper rain gear or something. If it's -20 in Alberta you dress for -20, and then it warms up to 0 by afternoon, and then you're sweating because of the parka.
Thats actually a good explanation. Never thought of it like that
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Re: The Late Night Comedy Club

Post by Weather101 » Thu Dec 12, 2019 7:40 pm

So I decide hey i'm tired after to work, Why not stop at McDonalds for a bite to eat, I drive home and this is what I find.

Now I am no expert but don't most burgers have a top bun too it? Ate it anyways was way to hungry but what the f*ck
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Re: The Late Night Comedy Club

Post by Forrest Gump » Thu Dec 12, 2019 8:00 pm

Weather101 wrote:
Thu Dec 12, 2019 7:40 pm
So I decide hey i'm tired after to work, Why not stop at McDonalds for a bite to eat, I drive home and this is what I find.

Now I am no expert but don't most burgers have a top bun too it? Ate it anyways was way to hungry but what the f*ck
Any crows or hawks nearby?
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Re: The Late Night Comedy Club

Post by Sardisbcwx » Thu Dec 12, 2019 11:14 pm

Forrest Gump wrote:
Thu Dec 12, 2019 8:00 pm
Any crows or hawks nearby?
:lol:
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Re: The Late Night Comedy Club

Post by Forrest Gump » Thu Dec 12, 2019 11:36 pm

Bono now trying to resurrect his career by entering Romania's got Talent
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Re: The Late Night Comedy Club

Post by Forrest Gump » Thu Dec 12, 2019 11:46 pm

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake....
And so do we

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Re: The Late Night Comedy Club

Post by Hound » Fri Dec 13, 2019 1:54 am

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Re: The Late Night Comedy Club

Post by Sardisbcwx » Fri Dec 13, 2019 3:59 am

Hound wrote:
Fri Dec 13, 2019 1:54 am
:lol:
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Re: The Late Night Comedy Club

Post by Sardisbcwx » Fri Dec 13, 2019 4:13 am

What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running, but can’t remember where.

“Have you been sleeping by an open window, like I told you?” asks a doctor his patient.
“Yes, just like you said, doc.”
“And is the bronchitis gone now?”
“Not yet, so far the only things gone are my laptop and cellphone.”
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Re: The Late Night Comedy Club

Post by Glacier » Fri Dec 13, 2019 9:27 am

frosty.jpg
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